Tenant Tricks - Not on my watch baby.

Last night I had a 22 year old women try and flirt sexually with me in order to get into a unit. She didn’t have the deposit or first months rent. Little did she know that I am completely disgusted by tenants. The idea of thinking of a tenant in a sexual manner makes me vomit. She called me back today. I told her that her application was rejected.

For young investors out there, just remember that a great pair of boobs won’t pay the mortgage. Tenants have lots of tricks, don’t be fooled.

However there is no line on SchE for that kind of “income” :bobble,

Its a good story that makes a good point. That is the tenant version of a gold-digger.

LOL, reminds me of a website I know. Can’t post it here though.

However there is no line on SchE for that kind of "income"

would that be considered bartering income?

Tenants are so dumb. No one pays for sex these days. All you do is go onto craigslist and you can get all the quickies you want. The genius called me twice on Friday at around 10:30 pm. Even though I denied her application she wanted to look at the place again (I didn’t answer the phone when I saw it was her). To be clever she called my property manager and asked him to let her into the unit. He let her in and I guess she looked at the place again.

I don’t understand tenants. Why go back? Clearly I reject her physically and financially. I’m not going to rent it to her so where is the logic?

Why look again? That makes no sense unless she is trying again to seduce someone. What a dummy. :anon

I’m not a lawyer, but I have a suspicion that such shenanigans could lead to a lawsuit as well. Not sure if it would have merit, but what a hassle.

:shocked Well some people will do anything to get into a place.

Coming back though is rather strange. Maybe her seduction is genuine. Tenant are people too.

Tenant are people too



Strangley enough, this very well could be my ex-wife. :anon

There are other tenant tricks that all of us have experienced. This is one trick I fell for a few times in the beginning.


-The tenant will maybe have enough for the first month’s rent but not the deposit. So they will have some assistence program pay me the deposit. This will never happen. Or they will send it to me in a week when they get paid. This will also never happen. Get the first month’s rent and deposit before you EVER let them move in. Also never take checks for the initial rent and deposit. It can take a week or two before you know it bounced. You will never get the deposit after the tenant moved into your property.

What other tenant tricks are out there…

  1. Have someone with a clean record rent the apartment for them
  2. Give a fake name, birthdate, and social security number when applying
  3. Forget that they own a doberman
  4. Ask you to hold the house and then not take it (never hold anything without a NON-REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT)
  5. Say they have all the money with them (which means they screwed their current landlord by not paying the rent and are being evicted)

I could go on and on and on…


One note on highly seductive tenants. They seam to be a major source of trouble.

  1. They are used to getting favors and/or things free from guys. So if she has trouble paying the rent that month she’ll expect you’d understand (assuming you are a guy or at least a lesbian). Also means she will have trouble accepting you saying no to her.

  2. They tend to have multiple “boyfriends” at the same time or almost the same time. At some point, or even multiple times, boy number x and boy number x + 1 will find out about each other and decide to emulate the “last man standing” show on your property. To top it off, the confrontation will probably be traceable to some boneheaded move by the seductress whom will assume that all boy toys should should share and share alike.

propertymanager. Not human? What happened to this being a people business? Maybe its a point of view depending on where you are from. Here in NY the vast majority of people rent, even many landlords. Its just does not make economic sense to own here.

What happened to this being a people business?

More like running a kennel if you ask me (babysitting dogs from Michael Vick).


…Darn! I guess the bank doesn’t take a wink and smile either.

But seriously, you’re right. A judge will also call you on it if you treat one tenant better than the other. Worst, other tenants can try to get you for discrimination if they can show that the favortism may be based on ethnicity, age, familial status, etc.

Hey Mike, that reminds me of a post way back where you interviewed a tenant for us and sniffed out that he had pit bulls. I started laughing all over again remembering it.




It’s an everyday occurrance for me. I could go through the tenant’s script in my sleep.

Me: Do you have any pets?
Tenant: Yes
Me: What kind of pet do you have?
Tenant: A dog
Me: What kind of dog do you have?
Tenant: A medium size dog
Me: What kind of medium size dog do you have?
Tenant: I’m not sure, it might be a mixed breed
Me: What might it be a mix of?
Tenant: Well, I’m not sure, it might have a little pit bull in it
Me: We don’t take Pit Bulls or any other dog on the vicious dog list
Tenant: My pit bull is not vicious
Me: They never are. Goodbye!

Not that funny here.


It’s true that buying and selling is a people business. But landlording is NOT a people business. You’re not trying to get to know tenants or build relationships with tenants. Landlording is strickly professional (tenant/landlord). No relationships, no favors, no exceptions. Thinking any other way is a mistake. I’ve discussed this before, but the perfect landlord would be a machine not a person.

OMG! I’m patenting the landlord robot!!!


Let me know when you have it up and running. I’ll throw all my properties on it. I’ll be the ginny pig for the machine(at a discounted rate of course).