A Headache Makes Me 2 Million Dollars

WOW! I am sooooooo excited!!! I had a headache this morning, so I got up early. THAT HEADACHE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE! While I was flipping through the channels, I happened to see John Alexander’s infomercial about real estate investing. It seems that for only $39.95, I can get a complete inverse purchase program that will show me how to get rich working part time with no money and bad credit. In fact, I’ll not only get rich, but John will put me on his personal buddy list and give me a secret that is so significant that I can’t find it anywhere else! ALL for $39.95!!!

In fact, he challenged average people to his 14 day challenge and all these people made great money. One guy didn’t even need the 14 days - he made $35,000 in only 5 days. That’s $7,000 per day!

So, here’s how I see it. I’m at least as smart as the guy that made $35,000 in 5 days. I have a little money. I have good credit. I’m even willing to work full time for $7,000 per day. In fact, I’m willing to work 300 days during the next year which means that I’ll be making $2,100,000.

I’ll miss you all! After today, I won’t be able to post anymore. Tomorrow I’ll be picking out a yacht (just like the one John was standing on in his commercial). Monday, I’ll be taking a demo flight in some new jets. I want one just like the one John was getting in. From now on, I’ll be too busy to post. I’ll be sitting on my yacht, talking to my new buddy (I’m on John’s buddy list) and counting that money as it rolls in. I might even hire someone to count all that money so I only have to work part time every other day!



Good luck with that, Mike…we’re sure gonna miss you around here! See ya in a year!


I use a money counting machine at my part time job, if you ever get overwhelmed counting all that green you can stop by and I’ll run it through the machine and strap it. Our straps only go up to $2000…I better order another case of straps. ;D

Great offer, Rich…I’m sure that, because he’s getting this from a guru, there’ll be a ton of “cash back at closing”…and you know how pesky that cash can be!


Trust me, I know. Sadly the $10-25k a day in cash I count doesn’t go into my checking account. :frowning:

Now That was FUNNY!!! As a matter in fact not only funny but I can’t stop laughing…

Great Post Mike…


If I mail you $20 can you send me a copy of the course? If I make 2 million I’ll give you $100k.


Thank you for your generous offer of the counting machine. I’ll take you up on that, but I hope it is a heavy duty money counting machine. We might need to hire people to load the thing around the clock - just to count all my money. As for your offer to send me $20 for a copy of the course - I’m truly sorry but John is my new personal buddy AND he’ll be telling me a super secret, so I don’t feel like I could possibly share it. (I’m a little suprised that John knew that I would be watching TV this morning, but he must have been desperate to contact ME since he spent the money on a commercial just to tell ME his secret. Also, I doubt that I’ll ever bother with any bills smaller than $1,000 again.


It’s been nice debating with you. If you ever need a new yacht for your Island, give me a call. I’ll probably buy TWO!




I would also recommend you get this Civilan use fighter type jet


its only $2,000,000.00

By the way PSSSST!! Here is the Secret Everybody that see’s the show and buy’s is on the BUDDY LIST… Or he made the offer to me as well last week when I watched it and I did not get involved in time so he said “You know what Robb Never called I should get the message to Mike” Man that really makes me >:( I could of had the secret. No you get all the money while I sit here and wish I would have paid the $40.00 ARGGGHHHH!!!

Hahaha, did anyone else that saw that commercial notice the cheapass $9.99 hawaiian shirt he was wearing. ;D


When you get that cool 2 Mil, come over here to New Jersey. Get a contractor’s license and pay off a politician or two, get rewarded a 100 mil contract to resurface some highway. Split the 50 Mil in profits with your new political buddies and now you have 25 Million!

i think the secret is “a fool and his money are soon parted”.

no guru tells their clients that, so he’d be the only one sharing it!!!


Are you calling me a fool? Please don’t be negative. I’m already counting on working part time (20 minutes a day) and becoming very rich in the next few days. I already bought my $8.99 Hawaiian Shirt and have been sitting by the phone waiting for my new guru buddy to call. The “SECRET” should be arriving in the mail in the next day or two. There really isn’t anything left to do buy count the money.

Since you are being so negative about this, I won’t be sharing any of my millions with you and I’m sure that you’ll never be on the buddy list.

Have a good life.


no Mike, i’m the fool. I was parted with my cash early on in my investing career by some lame “guru”.

since your guru is obviously much smarter than my guru, I’m sure you definitely make millions.

please don’t cut me off!!! ;D

It’ll do $20k in about 5 mins or less. I’d bet I could count your day’s intake in a few hours or so with no problems.

what I want to know is what hole do these nut-jobs gurus crawl out of. Is there gurus out there selling packages on how to be a REI guru.

I don’t recall seeing “REI infomerical guru” as one of the career choices on those stupid aptitide tests given my HS guidance counseler

I win again!! GUESS what I got in the mail…

Two count them two!!! Tickets to the Millionaire Conference I am going to learn how to buy property 20-30% below market… And guess what else they will teach me how to retire in 3 years with over 3 million in the bank AND A CASH FLOW OF $19,000.00 per month can you belive that…

So I am in a better program then the other not to mention that the tickets alone are worth $149.00 EACH oh boy… Anyone else want to go? I will sell One of them for only $1,000,000.00 because this is a chance of a life time event. So if you don’t belive me I will e-mail you proof. Well I am going to boats.com to get the yacht right now.


I don’t want to throw cold water on your idea, but I’ve got a little problem here. I’ve been sitting by the phone since last Friday and still no call from my new guru buddy. I’ve been waiting for the super secret to REI, but didn’t get one. Worst of all, I’ve been waiting for that money to start rolling in - nothing.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I haven’t used any of my money or credit. I have been putting in my 20 minutes (working on REI) each day. Maybe working even 20 minutes each day is too much. One of those big gurus says “the less I do, the more I make”. I honestly thought I’d be rich by now. Does anyone know what happened? I’m soooooooo disappointed.

Today, I’m going to try something different. REO, thanks to your post, I’m going to stand by the window all day and watch for the mailman to arrive. Maybe I’ll get a ticket to the Millionaire Conference. Surely if they are going to have a conference, they have to invite more than just you and your friend. Maybe, there will be a ticket for ME.

Got to go - the sun is coming up and I want to start watching for the mailman.

Mike (disappointed, but haven’t given up on quick riches)