You can lead a horse to water

A few years ago while driving my sister to her doctor appointment I told her, let me know if you need any money. She immediately says, “I need Money”. I said OK Great, I need help in my Real Estate business, come on over tomorrow morning and I’ll get you started. Then there was silence.
Now that I’m making some great money wholesaling Real Estate and I have some nice vehicles and wearing some nice clothes etc. I continue trying to get my family and friends involved.
This younger sister is 52 years old, is a chain smoker & has lived off the government all her life.
2 years ago I offered to buy her a car if she quit smoking. He reply was, “Buy me a car first and then I’ll quit smoking” I laughed and replied oh, I really believe that.
On several occasions she did tell me she has quit, I wud say but you still smell like ciggs, oh, that’s because I was around smokers. I wud pick her up so she can do her laundry at my house and she wud be out in the garage smoking. I thought you quit, Yea I did, It’s only a butt.
So after 2 years I was getting seriously annoyed, especially every week she wud call for me to pick her up to take her somewhere or to borrow my car for 5-6 hrs and run the gas tank empty. She even got a parking ticket she tried to hide from me that I had to pay.
I tried to get her to do my yellow letters & Post Cards and was shocked when she told me she wanted a minimum wage, I explained my other girls were doing them for 20 cents each. She was slow at it, then also the smoke breaks.
I even gave her a few hundred dollars in advance to get her motivated and which I’ll never see again. She often sends her worthless 31 year old tweaker son over to pick up a bag of any spare food I have on his bycycle. I know not to give them cash anymore cuz it will be most likely spent on ciggs and pot.
I did buy her a nice cruiser bicycle so she cud do some errands without bothering me to pick her up all the time.
I wud show her checks I was getting and wud explain how the finders wer making a killing also and all she had to do was find me some vacant houses.
Finally I had it up to here. I told her I was going to practice some tough love. If she wanted a car she cud quit smoking because she was not going to borrow mine again and I was not going to pick her up.
She then tells me if I love her I will continue to do these things for her.
I explained, its because I luv you that I must stop. So you can develop self respect and lean to earn a living.
I wud give her instructions on how to find me properties.
Holy Moses, the name calling that came out of her mouth, how I was a no good SOB and only knew how to hurt people and how god wudnt let me in heaven and how bad luck wud come calling and I was going to lead a lonely wretched life. I’m kinda glad it happened that way to see how ungrateful and vile she is.
I also have a few friends and other family members that I refused to loan them money but instead offered to teach them how to make money in Real Estate, they seemed angry & I haven’t seen them since.
I don’t understand this mentality, Wundt you want to know how your friend or family member was making money and get in on the action or wud you just want to borrow or sponge off him?
Has anybody else experience this type of behavior?


I have a brother and two sisters who had the exact same opportunity I had, they went to the same schools, had the same advantages and could do anything they please with their lives. Although my oldest sister and brother did get college degrees they chose to ignore our parents teachings and guidance they tried hard to provide and pushed in earnest to get all four of us involved in real estate.

Jay and I have very similar upbringings as both of our parents were involved in real estate investing. My parents bought their first apartment building while still in college, living in one unit and renting / managing the rest. My parents kept every home they ever lived in as their family grew and they moved up to a bigger home they made the old one a rental.

My mom got a real estate license in 1966 and became a broker in 1970 and was honored as a multi-million dollar sales awardee for over 10 years when homes sold for $25k to $40k on average. My dad is a civil engineer and built a number of major projects across the country from the early 60’s through last year.

He was a major real estate developer in the Washington DC metro area in the mid to late 70’s, by the time they got into the early 90’s by buying using broker commission and refinancing to expand my parents owned and controlled over $60m in mostly commercial real estate in southern California.

We were remodeling brick apartment buildings by the dozens installing and retrofitting earth quake bolting and diaphragm install in these old buildings all around southern California.

My sisters and brother although all are working none have applied what our parents taught us until recently as the oldest of my two sisters now owns one rental. They struggle, live paycheck to paycheck, have trouble paying their bills, and yet they knew real estate was and is the answer, except they won’t apply themselves.

I talk to my siblings every few months, I ask why they don’t consider real estate and I hear; oh it’s to hard, to complex and to involved and I just want a relaxed, easy life. I think all three will never get beyond there complacency, probable will hurt for a means of retirement and probable never use the gift our parents gave us.

They know my success is because I don’t mind working on something I love 80, 90 or 100 hours a week as to me it’s all fun and as they say “Love what you do and you will never work another day in your life”.

It’s a shame they have no motivation, they think smoking, drinking, hanging out and being lazy is the answer. Maybe they think their brother will provide for them but they may have a big reality check coming.

I am now managing and overseeing my parents estate as they want to enjoy retirement and I know they have provided a trust for my siblings, I think my siblings have had no motivation except to wait for their inheritance. Kind of a shame!

But I definitely understand Rando.


I feel bad for airing my dirty laundry and sort of whining about it. But I had to get it out. The frustration is there.
I wonder what kinds of drama will happen when your parents are gone goldriver. It might not be pretty.
My Mom is 84 yrs old and has a nice house with some substantial equity. I wonder how that’s going to play out?

That’s just how it works out for some reason. I tried doing the same thing with some friends and family and none of them took me up on the offer. The only thing I did get from trying to help them was request for money.