Would like a critique of my letter

I am strating to get all my ducks in a row and this letter is one of the ducks. Any way I can make it better?

Dear Mr/Mrs. ???,

Recently, while doing research at the courthouse, I found that you may be selling a piece of estate property in the near future. Of course, I also learned that you have lost a loved one and I want to extend to you my deepest condolences. I know this is a very difficult time for you and your family.

Maybe I can be of help. I’m sure selling this property is not a priority for you right now, but I wanted to let you know that I am very interested in purchasing it.

Being a professional renovator of homes and rental properties, you won’t even have to concern yourself with needed repairs or improvements to the property. I can close very quickly and make the process as easy as possible for you.

I would like to discuss this with you at your convenience.

Best Regards,

David Fetrow
Helixpoint Real Estate Services


Just my opinion, I think you’ll have some success with this letter, and you’ll badly piss some people off. It will depend on the person/situation recieving it. You can certainly come across like a shark any time you’re dealing with estate properties, and you make a clear effort to soften it here, but some people will be offended. Not telling you not to use it, I think it will get the job done and you’ll have some people respond positively (which obviously is the goal), but make sure your skin is pretty thick before you send it.

Good luck!

I am always open to suggestions:)

You can leave all this sentences out of your letter. These are the worst points. Never talk about hardships in your letter. Talk about benefits and features of dealing with you.

It may take some time, but keep revising your letter. Until it sounds like youre their best chance.

I think overall your letter is very good. No matter what you write, some people will think it’s great, some will hate it. There’s nothing you can do about that, like I said, just have thick skin to deal with those that take it the wrong way. It looks like you’ve put a lot of thought into your wording in this letter, and I wouldn’t change much. In the paragraphs above, I may choose wording other than “may be selling”, just to come across a little less opportunistic, and in the last sentence, maybe add something about “if this is not yet the time for you to make decisions regarding this property, please save my phone number so I can try to help you in the future” or something to that point.

Again, I like it and think it will be productive. Just understand you’re marketing in an area where people’s emotions are all over the map.

Good luck.

Thank you for the input

As has been said it doesn’t matter what you write, some will appreciate it, some will ignore it, and some will be irritated. You can’t please everyone and you’ll wear yourself out if you try.

Just to illustrate that point… as a test I even offered all cash, full price, on the closing date of the seller’s choice. And would you believe it, only a small percentage replied. Now maybe they thought it was too good to be true, but the offer was EXACTLY what they were asking for, and yet the vast majority didn’t accept it.

However, I recommend that instead of writing your own letter, you should use one that someone else has already used with success, then modify it if necessary. Reinventing the wheel without first taking it for test drive is fool-hardy at best IMHO, and I know this how? From my own personal moronic experience LOL!

Case in point: For YEARS I thought I knew better, I thought I should use something unique, not the tired old “We Buy Houses” slogan. Well… guess what pulls the best response? Yup, “We Buy Houses”.

That is exactly what I did. This is a letter by Vena Jones-Cox

You guys, its ok to buy courses, but don’t use their letters. Most of the letters i find included in courses, are very basic. I also don’t think they really got much response.

I think thats what is going on in my area. I create my own letter and i am pulling is a great response. Better than any letter i used from the so called gurus.

I can write up a cockamami letter and say that i put thousand upon thousands of dollars into it. Also that it has been tested over and over. The truth is, you have create you own letter, then test it, and revise it as you get calls. Let them know that you are trying to improve your marketing. Ask for their advice.

Thats the only way you will get the best advice. Everyone is talking about reinventing the wheel. I am glad somebody did reinvent the wheel. Otherwise you wouldn’t have 24’ rims. People would still have 13’ rims.

Always reinvent the wheel, that is how you separate yourself from the pack. Everyone is using the same 13’ wheel. When you come along with your specially designed 24’ wheel. You will get the attention.

Then your wheel everyone will try to tailor too. Times are always changing, If you are using guru methods. Their formula will soon be updated then you would have to buy other gurus material. Meaning the day the gurus created the plan might have been fine, but soon as it is packaged and mailed it might be outdated that quick.

I disagree. 24" rims are not a reinvention of 13" rims, they’re an enhancement of something that has already proven successful.

The risk your run when starting from scratch is that you may end up going through a lot of trial and error before you find something that works AT ALL. Whereas if you start with something that has already been proven to work you then have a baseline by which to measure the success/failure of your modifications.

If you don’t want to use the letters from a course that’s fine. There are dozens of letters and postcards that you can try that have been freely shared by members of this and other forums.

My frest created letter is the best that i have seen. My clients always tell me that they are slammed with mail, and my letter that i came up with from scratch. Has put all of them to shame.

It took me months to come up with that letter, but i am glad that i did take the time to create my own. I would still be getting mediocre response. Thats not the case though.

I decided to trend set my own letter, and people that have been investing for years want to invest with me and partner up. They are having little success, and i am running circles around them.

The same guru letter that you use Dougon, there may be five or six in your area that have access to that same letter. So if all of you guys are mailing the same letter. You are looking like clones. Then i come along with a totally new concept, then off you go to scrambling for scraps. While i milk the best deals. I then can pick and choose what deal you get.

Well I have to say this. I agree with both of you, but when you have nothing, somethig is beter than nothing. I would like to see your letter CharlottePlayer. I have to thank you all again for all your help. God Bless you all.


CharlottePlayer, you sure talk a big game. How about sharing who you target and what your response rate is?

I target FSBOs and listings and average about a 10% response, that’s sellers who come to my website and fill out the form (with about 50 questions).

You can’t knock “guru” letters. I’ve listened to Vena talk and she has forgotten more than most of us know. To say it’s better to start from scratch and go trial and error is ludicrous. Not that you need to use the exact letter someone gives you, but why not use it as a starting point. As I said in the beginning of this, that seems to me like a good, well thought out letter. I think it’s a great place to start. It sounds like this may be your first direct mailing. If so, good for you for taking the inititive, good for you for taking Venus’s course, and I hope you make a fortune for your efforts.

Thank you for the kind words. This is quite an interesting forum. People seem to get offended quite easily. I can see how you guys don’t want to pass on your trade secrets, but being rude has no place in a newsgroup. Just thought I would offer my 2 cents. Once again. I thank you all for the tereffic help. I am making a form on my website to for potential buyers to fill out. I would love some contructive critisism. I only have one problem. I can’t put my web address on here. Please send me a private email and I will give you the link. Thank you and God Bless


“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it”

“Activity without purpose is a drain to your life of fulfillment.”

Well i can say, i don’t use websites to promote my business. Since i mail to NOD. They are already behind on payments, so to think they can afford internet is far fetched.

Maybe iif i did my to fsbo, then i would consider a website, but then again i would just get 800 number with Q&A feature.

My response rate varys. I can say that i get between 1-2 calls for every 25 letters i send out. Most of the ones that call are already predisposed to do business with me. No screening, just go out and meet with the owner to sign the contracts.

You can’t imagine how many times a homeowner sees this same message. They are tired of it, but i am glad people are still sending this message out. Its working to my advantage

Dear [Owner’s Name],

I specialize in helping homeowners stop foreclosure. No matter what your current situation may be, I can work with you to make up any past-due payments on your mortgage so you can save your credit.

Having a foreclosure on your credit record will make it difficult for you to buy a home again and you may be forced into becoming a renter. Don’t let any of this happen to you. By working together, I can save your home from foreclosure and allow you to move on with your life.

The sooner you contact me the better. With every day that passes additional penalties and attorney fees are mounting up, but it is not too late. I have several ways in which I buy your home and solutions you may not know about.

Please feel free to contact me anytime at [Phone Number].

[Your Name]

This is a letter from a guru, and the section for this letter states, contact the representative of the estate rather than the hiers. Just to think about it.

Dear [Representative’s Name],

I am writing you in regards to the estate for [Deceased’s Name].

I am a professional investor who buys real estate property from probate estates. I understand how difficult a situation such as this is and how many heirs are looking to get any property liquidated so they can bring closure.

My ability to pay all cash and close quickly can provide the hassle free solution this estate may be looking for. I can even take over any remaining contents of a house if that is what the heirs wish.

If this estate has any property it wishes to get sold, please don’t hesitate to call. You can contact me anytime at [Phone Number].

[Your Name]