This is an odd subject for me. I have a wife whose father is one of those rare cases that working for the man (Blue Pill) actually paid off. So when I told her several months ago what I wanted to do with REI she basically laughed at me and said that will never pay off. I asked her why she thought so and she says “because if making money were that simple don’t you think everyone else would be doing it?” Now at this time I looked at her and said not if they thought like you did which is about 60% of the people out there.
Now I have been sending letters and emails and making offers on everything that the math works out on for rental income. I have received 3 replies and made 3 offers and 2 of those have been turned down. I let my wife know that I was expecting a rather important call today and that she needed to give them my cell and have them call me. She asked what the call pertained to and once again I made the mistake of telling her and got the same reaction as above.
I guess what I am asking in a round about way is do any of the married REI’s do this without the spouse knowing or even caring? I have always been a firm believer that without your spouses support you cannot be successful but right now I am ready to prove myself wrong. Sorry for the rant just been laying heavy on my mind today. I will say this in closing. The ridicule or disbelief coming from my wife makes me want to be even more successful at it.
My girlfriend supports me 100%. I told her today that most people would think I was nuts and thanked her for supporting me. Some thinks make her nervous still but she gives me time to explain everything, she asks questions and when she understands she feels better about it.
Communication is key I agree. The thing is she believes that since I am going against what is considered “Normal” then obviously I must be making a mistake. I asked her to read some of the biographies on the wealthy and her response is generally “You are not them”. It’s not like I am quitting my job or using our condo as collateral. I guess she just doesn’t want or recognize what I hope is an entrepreneurial spirit.
Now I am not ragging on my wife I love her. I just wanted to know what others are running into?
NEVER GET MARRIED! The trick is to always make her think you WANT to get married and then you never have to. ;D
On a more pertainate note, if your statistically likely failure will effect her, her opinion should be taken into account. If it won’t effect her, don’t include her until you have proof of concept in hand. Changing people’s mind of 20+ years of “learning” is a very difficult thing to do legally. Why would she entertain your “silly” idea if it goes against everything she’s been taught her entire life? After all, you don’t believe her ideology, why should she believe yours?
If this is something you can complete without her, forget the negativity and go for it. We’ve all have people telling us how stupid our goals of something more than medicority are. Otherwise, she should have a say in your decisions.
My wife was the same way. In fact, she still isn’t completely sold on the idea, although, with each acquisition (and profit), she does seem to be warming up a bit. (Now to get her to understand the profit isn’t to be used for new shoes - LOL!) Unless she objects fully, I’d just go ahead and let her envision it as a “silly little thing”. Once this silly little thing amasses a hefty cash reserve and $1,000’s of cash flow each month, I’m sure it will change her perception.
Keep your head up!!! You got your eyes staring down the right road it sounds like.
Good for you to come here and share your story; and good for our members that will keep you supported.
This isnt for all people - I’m battling it myself right now. I have the money, and everytime i get a property that excites me, i fight it in my head. I get all negative and start making excuses about why thats going to be the one property is going to be the end of my REI future. It’s fear; it’s the fear of the unknown… I mean come on, You’ll find almost EVERYONE you know now and the people you’ll meet in the future are the 8-5ers… Nothing wrong with that!! It’s that THAT’S the familiar connection people make when talking about income.
I have the exact opposite; I have a wonderful supportive wife that has family in REI that have made some incredible decisions about REI. They’ll never EVER have to worry about money again; they live the life they want at the drop of a dime. That’s what we’re shooting for; and we’ll do it!
Those big decisions that they made? THEY GOT STARTED… They bought properties long ago without HALF the math me and most of the others on this board do before we get involved in a property. In essence, we’re going to make the same decisions (but a bit better educated) and walk the same line… It’s worked too well for too many people to give up.
Great post. A funny thing happened to me recently. First off, my wife has always been very supportive of anything I have tried, which in my opinion is a reflection on our relationship. She recently read Rich Dad Poor Dad and BAM!!! There was a fire lit that I had never seen from her before!! A few months later, a few books later, we decided it was time for her to quit her job and now we are working together full time on real estate investing. I guess I got it good…
While I am not exactly in the same situation, as my wife supports me going down this path, she’s a CPA, so I really have to make sure the numbers and projections are somewhat accurate, as she will call me on it.
My wife supports me 100%, but refuses to want to learn anything about REI. One more thing, I think you’re off with 60% of people thinking RE won’t pay off - I would say more like 90%, it is funny to watch people’s expressions when you tell them your plans. Althoug it is human nature to bring someone down…someone sets a goal and lots will cast stones. That is why it is important to associate with people that support you, or with similiar goals…like those in this forum.
It’s all in the mind. She has FEAR and is thinking too much as an employee. Have her read “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kyosaki. I think that will help her out (and u of coarse)!
A previous post says 90% of the people are naysayers and don’t believe you can do it. It took me quite a while to learn this, but I stopped talking the talk and decided to just walk the walk. I have full support from 2 people I know, 1 my wife, 2 her mother (who is one of our investors). That’s it. Everybody else is full of doubt and FULL of questions. Why give them anything to ask about? Why does everybody need to know what your doing and how things are going? Keep it close to the vest. Ask them how THEY are doing, that’s really what most people care about anyway.
I see Rich Dad Poor Dad references all over these forum’s but his book can be a real eye opener. He says things that you think about but may have never catergorized like he does. It might be good for her to read if she really wants to understand your desire to invest.
My girl friends, and family believe I can do anything. This puts alot of pressure on me. It is one thing for me to believe that I will have 30-40 units by the time I am 35 but my family expects it.
I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I was 14 I started selling drugs. Believe or not it is not easy to do well in that line of business. Not everyone makes a ton of money. It is like any other business you have to invest in the right product sell in the right area, and buy at the right price. Know I am not proud of any of this and wish I became a cop instead of selling drugs but I am telling you that to tell you this.
I was good at it. I had a very nice car years before I could drive and other material things that proved my stupidity.
The thing is people think since I was good at that, that I have a business frame of mind to be good at REI and it just does not work that way.
