private lender

Financing, Hard Money Lenders, Private Money
1

I may be in the wrong sort of forum. I’m looking for someone to lend me funds to pay off debt of about $40,000.00. I live in Canada, employed at the same company for over 16 years. Conventional banks won’t lend me the money, I’m married but my husband & I have separate accounts, he pays his bills, I’m left to figure this out on my own. It appears we are separating, banks won’t go near me because of this, even though I earn my own money. His credit is good, mine is slipping fast.

Sorry if 'I’m in the wrong area to ask. I don’t want to break any rules here.

Sincerely,
Jackson

2

No…just a human being. Sorry

3

>>>I’m left to figure this out on my own<<

How long have you been married? Did you have this debt coming into the marriage?

Did your husband recently give you this 40k “gift”? Did he ever make payments towards this in the past?

>>Sorry if I’m in the wrong area to ask. I don’t want to break any rules here.<<<

There are never any rules when you are seeking advice. :smiley:
I would be happy to steer you in the right direction during this crisis…

But first I need to know if he is really just blowing smoke to bully you.

I don’t know about Canada law but I can help you do the research to find out what your rights really are.
My biggest pet peeve is watching men trying to take advantage of women…especially if they were loyal wives…

4

No, my husband didn’t give me the 40K debt or gift. I am responsible for racking that debt up myself over the 10 years of our marriage. My stupidity in spending & being overly genorous to others got me where I am. My husband is not responsible for any of this. It’s just that he feels, I racked the debt up (in my name) therefore I should find a way to deal with it on my own. Trouble is, because I didn’t use my credit wisely (& he did) I now feel alone in how to deal with this. I’ve done so much research & contacted so many legitimate institutions to see if I could get the help I need in order to move on with my life…I’m still at square one. Searching for clear cut viable solutions.
For the last 7 years, all of my paycheque has gone into his account (my name has never been on it) except I get $300.00 per month automatically put into my personal account from my paycheque. We own a home together (both names are on it), so my cheque helps pay for mortgage, car & some bills. There’s more to the story but this isn’t the forum for all of that nonsense.

Sincere thanks.

5

I forgot to add, or felt it wasn’t appropriate to add that I had spent some of my earnings becoming involved in animal rescue to the point I thought I was some sort of philantrophist who actually had the funds to handle this. My husband doesn’t share the same passion as I do when it comes to dishing out money for these sorts of causes. I should have been more cautious & not let my heart rule my pocket book.
Thanks again for your time. I see that this forum is very valuable to those who are serious about their real estate projects & dreams. It’s actually refreshing & very interesting to see so many people striving & succeeding in their goals.

Best of luck

6

>> It’s just that he feels, I racked the debt up (in my name) therefore I should find a way to deal with it on my own. <<<

This is so common for a husband to make selfish decisions on what is the best thing for HIM.

>> I’ve done so much research & contacted so many legitimate institutions to see if I could get the help I need in order to move on with my life<<

Are you inquiring about borrowing money or what is the law regarding your divorce settlement?

>>>For the last 7 years, all of my paycheque has gone into his account (my name has never been on it) except I get $300.00 per month automatically put into my personal account from my paycheque<<<

This is exactly what I thought…

>> We own a home together (both names are on it), so my cheque helps pay for mortgage, car & some bills.<<

You have assets. Do not sign anything or promise to do anything. Keep silent for now until we work out a plan.

Jackson, I was also naive when I divorced 2 years ago.
I had no credit in my name. Without telling me he actually cut me off the credit cards because he said they were all in HIS name!
He was able to freeze all the bank accounts because they were in HIS name…when I called our stockbroker to ask how much we had at Morgan Stanley, I was told I couldn’t have that information because the ex had power of attorney for all the accounts…even for my own IRA…I was stunned!

I had no income. I had worked for free in our biz 18 hours a day and never received a paycheck. Later I even found out that I was never named as a stockholder in our corporation!

I had been too trusting. First I was hurt, then anger set in once I started educating myself.
Then I was prepared to fight for every dime that was legally mine after 23 years. It was ugly, but I didn’t back down. He had an attorney and I didn’t. I wasn’t going to let an attorney cut into my half!

You have rights and we will find out what they are in Canada.
[b]

There’s more to the story but this isn’t the forum for all of that nonsense<<<[/b]

Yes, I can see there is much more to this story. Contact me in a private message and let’s get to work.

>> It’s actually refreshing & very interesting to see so many people striving & succeeding in their goals<<

You will ALSO be able to survive this and succeed in your new life without him. I guarantee it. I will help you every step of the way. You are not alone. If I could do it, you can too.
Linda

7

Linda,
You are awsome!! It so good to see someone go out of there way to help someone and ask nothing in return. It proves that the human spirit does still exist. Your success in business and personal affairs is well deserved, you are a true human being.

Jackson2
You hang in there, I have a feeling you have met a great partner to help you in a time of need, keep your head up and stay strong.

John

8

John,
Thanks for your kind words.
I learned a long time ago that when you unselfishly give, you get back so much more in return.

I am very fortunate to understand what my true purpose is here on earth. To always help without hesitation.

Believe me, I have been screwed many times but now those people are paying for their bad deeds. I didn’t have to do anything.
Karma. What goes around, comes around. Never fails.

Eventually Jackson will be able to help somebody else after she survives her crisis. That is my goal.

9

Wow…let me begin by giving thanks to you Linda, for replying to my posts. You are “very” understanding & encouraging.
I want to let you know, I don’t feel anger towards my husband, only sorrow. Sorrow for how I handled what I was dealt. Sorrow for not fessing up to him when I was struggling until it was too late. I don’t blame him for tightening the money belt. I need to learn responsible credit habits.
Funny thing is, when I was single (for many years!) I was always independant & cautious about my spending, & able to save for my future. When I got married I became more & more dependant on my husbands support, more emotionally than financially. I then began to make “poor” investment choices on my own (not his ideas) & thus failed finanacially.
I “have” to take responsiblity for my own stupid actions & be held accountable for my money making decisions.
Once I’m done “beating” myself up, I want to move forward, regain my integrity & my life.

I really appreciate your support & yes…I will P.M. you shortly.

Sincere thanks,

Jackson2

10

John (Fletcher) …Many thanks to you too, for encouraging me to hang in there. I will, no matter what. It’s people like you that recognize “decent” people like Linda because you’re one of them.

Regards,

Jackson2

11

>>>When I got married I became more & more dependant on my husbands support, more emotionally than financially. I then began to make “poor” investment choices on my own (not his ideas) & thus failed finanacially<<<

Marriage is supposed to mean unconditional support for your mate through good and bad judgments. We are responsible for each other’s actions until we divorce. That includes debt.

I am also one of those helping souls always trying to do things for others. I ran our biz and when I became involved in another project that didn’t involve him and then used “his” money to finance it, he was upset…but I didn’t care, I was loving my new found passion…flamenco dancing…as a businesswoman I was able to create jobs. I produced shows, danced and did all the promotion all by myself doing national tours here and overseas.
This was the main reason for the divorce. He was jealous of my success. I was done.

I had no idea that I was really in a controlling relationship. It was a great marriage in all other areas and he was a good husband. But I finally woke up when I realized it was all about “his” success and I was just the trophy wife.

>>>Once I’m done “beating” myself up, I want to move forward, regain my integrity & my life<<<

You must stop beating yourself up NOW. Then you can move forward. We can’t go back. It’s yesterday’s news.

I look forward to hearing from you. We will take one step at a time.
Linda :smiley:

12

Linda, I just wanted to thank you. Im so glad to see you trying help Jackson and I hope you’ll be around here for a long time!

Jackson, It’s none of my business but I sincerely hope you get everything you can from that “man”. That is one of my biggest fears. (Going through what you are now)
I’ll be thinking of you and hoping everything turns out good for you!

13

aznewbie,

I sincerely appreciate your response & good wishes.
I just wanted to clear one thing up, I am completely responsible & accountable for the debt “I” incurred. I made some very poor investment & financial choices. My husband was not a willing party to my choices. There was a time he helped me when I messed up, but he feels “tapped” out emotionally & financially. I’m not making excuses for my husband, I’m just telling it like it is, I screwed up.

Again, I thank you & everyone for the sincere encouragement.

Jackson2

14

Hi AZ…I was just posting to you and didn’t see your last reply??..not sure if this applies anymore, but here’s my 2 cents :smiley:

b]>>>Investing will give me the opportunity to make a great career without having to have a college degree or putting my kids or husband second, that is one of the main reasons I am so interested in it.<<<<[/b]

Congratulations!! Sounds like you already have a great plan and the right attitude for many successes in life!
Good for you!

>>>We have a great relationship but now that I am starting to get into Investing I am feeling some strange feelings coming from him. I don’t know if it’s jealousy, insecurity or what the deal is.<<<

You should try to stay together through thick and thin if you have a “great relationship”.
Maybe he is just feeling a little uncertain dealing with your new success.
Open up the lines of communication again if you value your marriage and it’s worth saving. We must always try to do the right thing for the right reason.
Let him know that you are passionately working towards helping achieve financial freedom for your beautiful family.
Perhaps spend a little more time with him alone…maybe a fun surprise date??? :wink:

Cherish your marriage if he is a good man and father. Remember that some people never get to experience a loving marriage. Count your blessings.

>>>>I am determined to go through with this and make it a success no matter what “vibes” I get. I want to do this for the better of all of us and I hope once he sees how good it will be those “vibes” will lesson. (Time will tell)<<<

I hope your husband knows that he is a very lucky man.

I can tell that you are a very wise woman and that you will always make the right decisions.
Always go with your instincts…because we are usually right when we do :slight_smile:

I’m so glad that you are also enjoying the investment world just as much as I do!

Merry Christmas to you and to everyone on this board!

15

Linda, Thank you so much for your kind words.

After I posted my message I thought it would be better not to go into such detail about my personal life since it wasn’t really necessary ;D

>>>Maybe he is just feeling a little uncertain dealing with your new success.<<<

Well, I’m not successful with it yet but I’m working on it and once I am successful I know he’ll be as excited about as I am. (Well almost as excited)

>>>Cherish your marriage if he is a good man and father. Remember that some people never get to experience a loving marriage. Count your blessings.<<<

That is one thing I do everyday! (Count my blessings)

>>>I hope your husband knows that he is a very lucky man.<<<
Again, thank you. I hope he does too!!! :smiley:

I hope you and everyone here has a great Christmas too!

16

Hello to all, especially Linda…

I wanted to thank all of you who replied to my posts. Your support & wisdom means alot to me. I admire all of you who are in a position to make a better life for yourselves, it serves as a great lesson & inspiration to me.

Aznewbie, good luck to you, I have a feeling you will succeed. Thanks for your kind words.

Linda, you truly are encouraging. Your success after all of your struggles is clearly admirable. Thank you for helping me move forward. That extra “nudge” or “push” is often what people need. Who knows, maybe one day I will succeed as you have.

Wishing all Happy Holidays,

Jackson2

17

Thank you and I wish you good luck too!
I was re-reading this post and realized there have not been any answers to your question about getting money to pay off your debt.
Sorry I can’t help in this area regarding getting a loan, but have you thought about Investing or wholesaling/flipping to get cash? I don’t know if you have any knowledge or experience but maybe that would be a way to do it?

18

Hello Aznewbie,

Yes you are right, no answer on the private lending issue. I’m not experienced or knowledgable enough to know about investing etc. …maybe one day I will be. This forum has many people who are very informative on the matter.

Linda has been extremely helpful in pushing me in the right direction, she has a way of boosting energy into someone who feels stressed.

Take care for now,

Jackson2