My intro and letter critique please

Hello,

I’m new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself, I’m from Terre Haute, IN and am getting back into the business. I’ve dabbled in it off and on for three years, now but I’ve finally created a business plan and am getting serious about it now. My main goal is to start with wholesaling and add rehabs along the way, then sub2 and owner financing along the way after that.

Anyway, I have compiled a list of about 21 condemned properties that I want to pursue. Here is the letter I am getting ready to send out. Please critique it and let me know if there is anything I should do different.


[b]Dear Sir or Madam:

I would like to introduce myself. TH Homebuyers, LLC is my new real estate investment company located in Terre Haute, IN and I buy and sell single-family houses in the Terre Haute area. As of now, I’m currently searching for new properties to purchase for the upcoming year.

The reason that you are receiving this letter is because through public records, I understand that you own a property in Terre Haute that for some reason or another has made its way onto the code enforcement list (condemned, nuisance liens, etc.) I am writing to inform you that I am seriously interested in purchasing this property from you for all cash. The property in question here is located at 1807 S 11th St, in Terre Haute.

We obviously have no idea if you are interested in selling this property because we have never spoken before. But if this property has been a hassle to you, and you do have a desire to rid yourself of the mess, please contact us today. I am a very serious buyer, who can make you an all cash offer and close within a month or sometimes as little as a week. I am not looking to list your property as I am not associated with any real estate brokerage company. I want to BUY it!

Maybe you’ve never even considered selling this property, because you didn’t know that anyone would even be interested in buying it. This is exactly the type of property that I am looking to purchase. I don’t care about the repairs. I’ll do the repairs and handle all the paperwork. Yes, I am an investor and I do expect to make a profit, so if you want full retail price for the home, please do not call me. But if you are flexible on your price, and have a desire to sell, please get in touch with me immediately!

Please contact me by phone, or my website, and email address that is all listed at the top. Or you may simply fill out the response form included with this letter and mail it back to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I highly look forward to working with you on the sale of your property. Have a wonderful day, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Brandon L. Bland
President[/b]


I’ll be sending them out in plain white #10 envelopes, hand addressing each of them, with plain stamps. Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from all of you.

Brandon

Brandon,

A couple of things in my opinion. First, I dont’ see any benefit it telling them you are a “new” investment company. I’d remove the word “new” from the first sentence.

Second - These people have homes that are in need of repair, they should expect you are not offering them top dollar. I would remove
Yes, I am an investor and I do expect to make a profit, so if you want full retail price for the home, please do not call me. But if you are flexible on your price, and have a desire to sell, please get in touch with me immediately!

in my opinion it’s too long.
I would make it way shorter. Those who want to sell the house, will not read it till the end anyway. Those who aren’t interested, will trash it right away. Dan kennedy has a good book on writing sales letters (check amazon for pricing).
If you follow his advise, you’re going to need:

  1. catchy headline
  2. list of benefits
  3. P.S. - many people will go directly to the bottom of the page to see who wrote it.

Again, just my 2c.

Here’s how I’d write it up… using your words, getting a little more to the point.

[b]Mr. or Mrs. NAME:

I want to buy your property.

I understand that you own the property located at 1807 S 11th St, in Terre Haute which is currently on the code enforcement list (condemned, nuisance liens, etc.) I am writing to inform you that I am seriously interested in purchasing this property from you for all cash.

I am Brandon Bland of Homebuyers, LLC, located in Terre Haute and I buy and sell single-family houses in the Terre Haute area. I am a very serious buyer, who can make you an all cash offer and close within a month or sometimes as little as a week. I am not looking to list your property as I am not associated with any real estate brokerage.

I want to BUY it! I’ll do the repairs and handle all the paperwork.

Please contact me if you are interested in selling your property. My phone, website, and email address are all listed above. Or you may simply fill out the response form included with this letter and mail it back to me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I look forward to helping you with the sale of your property. Have a wonderful day, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Brandon L. Bland[/b]

(skip the title)

Thanks guys, I’m considering making some of those changes. I’ll post the results of the mailing on here soon.

Brandon