Mortgagor dead, spouse authorizes, bank says No talking

Found a property that i want to purchase from the
owner by shorting the second.
The mortgagor is deceased. The spouse is on the deed.
The spouse authorized me to speak, but the first lender
won’t talk. They say that the spouse as such is an
authorized person, and he/she cannot authorize someone
What can i do.? The spouse cannot be conferenced on
each call with the lender.
The spouse will sign anything including power of attorney
and deed etc.
The first loan is foreclosing after promising the spouse that
all will be fine if you give a deed-in-lieu of foreclosure.
My attorney has some ideas on dealing with this lender,
but any inputs from folks that have dealt with such
situations will be good before i bring in my attorney to
represent the surviving spouse.
I have 2 choices.
a) Just request a payoff and pay the beggars off.
b) Get an attorney and also ask that the delinquency
payments that they will be owed should be waived since
they misled the surviving spouse to give the deed back.
Well i don’t mind paying their attorney fee that helped
them file the foreclosure. I can also use this to stall the