Make the Gringo squeal like a Pig.

I got the call I was hoping for, a 3/1 farm house out in the Country. I had offered the elderly owners 80,000 Cash. That’s more than I wud usually offer, but this place has 2 1/2 acres. I believe the ARV is about 120-140K
The sellers son calls and he says they will sell for the 80 Grand.
I was optimistic I cud sell this, I place a few ads on Craig’s List for 99K and in 24 hours I had 3 calls. A buyer named Pablo calls and wants to meet me pronto at the house. He had already been there and had called several times. When I arrived Pablo was already there, a big friendly Mexican guy and driving a nice truck. We shook hands and I noticed he had soft hands.
As we stood in front of the house I noticed a small kid riding a small bike and kinda pacing back and forth around Pablo’s vehicle. Pablo kept talking and I diverted my attention to this bike rider. This was not a kid, it was a small Mexican guy, maybe in his 20’s, he kept his head down not making any eye contact and I noticed he was dirty looking with second hand clothes. This guy had a mean look. I remember thinking, where did this guy come from bcuz I didn’t see any nearby houses.
Pablo and I started walking the property and it was a good walk thru tall dry weeds to the back fence. We cudnt open the door on the house.
But Pablo says he wants it, he has 20K in cash and he can get his bank to fund this cuz he has good credit, I told him a bank probably wont loan on a house in this condition. I handed my Assignment him to sign for a 15K fee.
He then takes a photo and calls his son and they start jabbering in Spanish. I decided to check out the abandoned house next door that I had seen previously on google maps while checking out this place.
The place looked abandoned sort of, but the long road leading to the old mobile home was too clean. The area around the mobile was cleared, everywhere else had knee high dry weeds. I noticed a Do Not Enter Unsafe to Occupy sign on the door.
I moved towards a window that was broken out and stuck my head in.
I looked from left to right and yep it looked trashed. I looked across the room to another window and looking thru I seen some green, I focused on some huge cannabis plants and it looked like a lot of them and well into flowering. My first reaction was holy shitsky, and I started to walk around the side and seen a big fence maybe 30’ long of 4/8 sheets of wafer boards standing on end.
I looked to my right and seen a car backed into and under a tree with just the front hood showing.
That’s when I thought I better get the hell out of Dodge. As I walked down the long driveway I cud feel eyes on me, I imagined this gang of Mexican gangbangers jumping me and making me squeal, or worse.
I get back out to the road and Pablo said he was going to check with the bank and we drove away.
Later I started getting a better picture of the situation, this bike rider was checking us out, he was there protecting this crop.
Blindly walking into a dangerous situation. Just glad to get outta there with no damage. And I didn’t have to squeal like a pig.

WOW that is crazy!

One of my favorite things is to slam a real estate deal. It’s fun and exciting and the money is a bonus.
I purchase this list of 2,500 names of absentee owners for $380 I sent out the first batch of 200 post cards and that cost about 100 buks for stamps and ink and paper.
Then I got the money call, a 2 1/2 acre farm out in frikin Orosi Ca, I offered sellers 80 Grand and they accepted, shuda offered less maybe.
Just sold it to a cash buyer for 95 Thou.
I’m making 15 Grand, well, I’m giving my Sis 10%, shes running the post cards.
If only I cud get some more help,

Oh yea, got a small deal closing next week, the wholesaler that found it gets 5 Grand, I get 3 Grand and Luis the wild but friendly bird dog gets $1,000

Let’s make some Money…


I met my buyer out at the farm house today, he tried to talk me down on the price but I knew he came there to buy and the negotiations were done on his phone call a day earlier.
He’s from the area and said he had a friend that lived in this house when they were kids.
I got his check for $1,000 and he signed my assignment.
I need to keep these post cards going out, cuz, direct mail works and it has always got me some deals.
I’m celebrating, got a huge pizza and a case of Monster energy drinks, maybe I’ll rent a good movie, buy the wife and kids something.
Let’s make some Money…


Randoskie, “Make the gringo squeal” reminded me of a time when I walked up to house in foreclosure, knocked on the door, introduced myself. The man behind the screen door them very slightly opened the screen with the barrel of a 12 ga automatic shot gun, put it about 4 inches from my face, LOOKED like a cannon, and very calmy said, “Bill, you nor no other SOB is gonna take my house.” I agreed, very carefully backed off the porch and down the drive to my little red truck and left.

Indeed there are some strange deals ouot there in never never land.

I emailed the signed purchase contract and the assignment to my fav Title Company and started escrow this morning.
What can go wrong? Seller wants to sell, buyer wants it big time, and he says he’s got cash, and wants to close now.
Why am I worried?
The seller is old and in New York, it’s going to delay this deal for weeks probably, the title company will overnight the docs to her, she will have to get a Notary and sign and send them back, sounds easy.
This deal cud actually happen in under 30 days… But, it was too easy, I’m laying low, fingers crossed.

I knew things were going too smoothly, the title girl emails to say they can’t do assignment anymore , oh really but you got another of my deals in escrow that’s paying out this week, or that’s what I was thinking. Now I couldn’t let this ruin my day, I had to think quick, I know, I’ll call other title companies, yea, that’s it.
I called 2 and the second one hooked me up with her friend that works in a local title company that does do assignments.
This is how it went down… Hi this is Rando Wholesaler, I got this property over in Orosi that I want to assign to my end buyer, can you handle that type of transaction, damn, I’m getting this lingo down. She says yes we can do that for you.
But still, it’s going too easy, I’m back laying low.

The house is locked up good, has been since the sellers brother died. It probably has the entire house full of the old guys possessions. The deceased must have been a bit kooky, there are anti government signs in the window. and warnings to thieves.

Seller gave us permission to break lock and get power on and see if we can get this well working.
California had a drought going on for 7 years, many wells went dry. But last winter it rained and rained.
I think the buyer will take it regardless, I asked him to get power on in his name and we can break the lock and take a looksy,
he is down at the power company right now.

I knew it was too easy and I was right. Buyer calls and says there is a dead animal in the house, and it stinks, then the groin kick. The pump is not hooked up.
I can see those profits flying into the sunset.
I noticed a galvanized water tank sitting in the back yard that wasn’t attached to anything. Now to work thru this fiasco.
My buyer Efren, is getting a pump guy out there to see wtf.

Now I’m worried. My buyer Efren tells me his pump guy after inspecting it, says the depth of well is above water table at 80’ It needs to be at 115’ and he can get it all going for the measly sum of $28,000 Frikin dollars.
This sort of goes past the knee in the groin news. Efren sends photos of the well, looks like the old guy that lived there tried to mickey mouse something together cuz there’s a chain and electrical wires going down the 6" abyss.

New plan.
Get sellers to slash the price.

I txted sellers son that the well is high and dry and I got an estimate to drill it and get it going for $28,000
He replied Hm, Ok, what are you thinking?
I answered, My partner is ready to jump ship, we need the price at 50K
He then replied the next morning that he will discuss it with his Mom.
I’m hoping with the distressed situation, seller is ready to shave this puppy.
I’m waiting for their reply, buyer is calling and said he took an earnest deposit into Title.
My potential buyer Efren, wants it bad.
Anything can happen now.

A brand new well at just 100’ should cost no more than $3,000.

Probably a brand new well would be better, since you have no idea what’s going on with the old situation. But $28,000 is either a misquote, or the guy saw you coming. Either way, now I wouldn’t trust this guy’s word with a ten foot well.

Here’s a link to a guide on the subject:

The son of the seller txted me, and tells me they wont do 50K Next txt I say if you can do 60K were still in.
Next day I get the reply txt that his Mom wont go any lower than 70K and asked wat do I think.
I txted my buyer Efren and tell him I got 10K off the price. He responds that if I can get the price at 80K or 15K lower he’s ready to close in 1 week…
So, if I wrap this up right now, I can walk away with 10 grand. But no, I got my mind set on making 15 grand on this deal.
I txted seller’s son Kevin that “let’s meet in the middle at 65K & I must emphasize the dry well and the financial risk involved”.
Waiting for his reply, but if seller is stuck at 70, I know my buyer will still take it at 85K
Now I hope I don’t jinx this deal with my out of control greed. But I got a good feel for this situation, seller is out of state, and somewhat motivated, buyer wants it bad and has cash, if I’m not in too big of a hurry it can mean thousands of extra dollars in the pocket.
Win or lose, this is fun.

The gamble paid off, seller txts me to say they will accept the 65K
An extra 5 Grand cuz I knuckled up with some last minute negotiations and I wasn’t in to big of a hurry to grab the money and run.
I got escrow started, buyer has cash, what cud go wrong? It’s funny cuz the seller Kevin asked if there wud be any other hurdles,
I replied, haha, there always is.

Selling to a homeowner is so different than what I’m used to, for example my rehabbers never question my assignment fee. But, no investors wanted this fixer farm house out in the sticks with no water.
With a homeowner it’s a whole new ball game.
When I met Efren at the house, we walked around and then, he gives me this concerned look and says, “So your making $15,000 on this deal and you want me to pay closing costs”? I looked him in the eye and without hesitation, I said, yep.
I was confident, I’ve done this a shipload of times. Then he says, you really don’t have anybody else interested in this property do you? I chuckled and said, Dude, I put this property on CL 2 weeks ago and I hav had over 20 calls, everybody wants it, I got a lady behind you that will take it.
A few years ago I might have buckled under the pressure and gave it up.

It’s been over a week since we started escrow, the buyer just called and asked if I had heard anything from Title.
I told him no, but that’s a good thing.
It’s the waiting that kills, never know if some last minute chingo from the abyss will come up to teach you some humility or worse.
It can be scary when the bank account is limping along & in dire need of a booster shot.

The sellers son Kevin told me a few weeks ago that he was leaving the country for a few weeks and be back first week of December.
I knew this wud slow down this deal cuz we need him to help his elderly Mom thru this transaction.
Yesterday my buyer Efren txts me that he drove by the property and some people were tearing down the outbuilding and loading it up. Efren took photos of these perps and the shed they were tearing down. He says these people tell him they are related to sellers in New York and have permission.
Well today I send a txt to Kevin asking if he’s back in town. He replies he just arrived, I ask about the outbuilding and the neighbors and he tells me nobody has permission to remove anything and he was going to talk to his mom to confirm.
Later today he tells me his Mom says that neighbor guy is named Tom and its her distant cousin and that blanket blank definitely does not have permission to be on property and remove jack sprit. He also tells me to contact the police.
I relay the message to Efren and he was headed over there. He tells me he knows where they live.
I havnt heard anymore, but this is the kinda thing that cud screw up the deal.
Also Kevin tells me they received the Title docs but title spelled Moms name wrong and he’s waiting for title to send the corrected purchase contract.
So, if everything from this point forward goes halfass smoothly, this deal might close b4 Xmas.
Stay tuned.

The seller is txting asking if I’ve heard anything. The buyer is txting asking the same. My partner Bob tells me the ladies running their late fathers Title Company are retiring this month. It seems these Title gals prob got some stuff going on.
I tell my buyer Efrin to hang tight, and just now the seller says he just received the documents and will get them Notarized and out the door. it’s the deal that goes on forever. Meanwhile, its the waiting that is torture…

I wud have thought this deal wud for sure close b4 the new year, the buyer Efren txts me and asks if I’ve heard anything from Title, I say no, wat the heck is the delay? Have they called you in to sign the final docs? He replies no, & says, I’m gonna call them.
The next day I txt him back and he tells me that Title is waiting on one last document from seller.
It’s a bit scary, sometimes the longer these deals take the more chance of it going belly up…
I txt Efren that I wud get the seller in gear.
Then I txt Kevin in New York and ask him wat documents is the title company needing?
Kevin txts me back right away that his Mom had missed 2 signatures and he says it shud be going back out today,
except, a serious ass snowstorm is hitting the entire East Coast & we are right in the middle of it.
I forgot to ask if he had snowshoes and artic boots & coat.
I’m ready to put this baby to bed.

The wholesale deal that took 3 months, Imagine this, the elderly seller in New York, the buyer ready with funds. A small county escrow company, 2 elderly sisters that took over the business from their late father, a small farm house w a few acres, and the well is dry, renegotiations, and let me tell you about these escrow ladies, they are slow, I don’t even have a smart aleky coment that their as slow as.
One of the Title ladies named Leslie called me yesterday and said she had a check for me and wanted to know if she shud mail it. I of course decided to drive the 1 hour to this little sleepy town to pick it up. Let me describe this picture, the title company is actually a very old house, on main street, train tracks in the middle of the street, it was painted nice with flowers and a beautiful sign. Inside it had the creakiest front door and the floor was the original 1920’s oak flooring and squeaky, it was all nice, but then Leslie is not there, and the other lady can’t find my check, she calls Leslie and she says she forgot to sign it and put it out, then the other Lady Karen, can’t find a pen.
Can you imagine them getting my check in the mail in this century?
Really exciting to see that check for 15,000 buckaroos. Pay some expenses and I still got a good chunk.
Let’s make some Money…