How can I find mentors in New Jersey?

Seeking a mentor in the Northern, New Jersey area? I am new to real estate (wholesale) and I am finding it very hard to find mentors in this area. The few that have responded to me states real estate is not for everyone and I should try something else.

I have read a lot of books and seeking someone who can guide me on a few deals. I have my buyers list and it is still growing.

Suggestions/answers are greatly appreciated.


Hi Tammy,

this is just a personal opinion from another noob on the forum, so take it for what it’s worth…which is nothing. LOL.

I’m sorry to hear about you getting shrugged off. Sometimes, you just can’t work with some people. Now, while there are way that you can vary your behavior to be able to work with more people effectively, there will always be those that you will not be able to work with no matter what you do. In actuality, nor would you want to work with those types of people.

For me, I’m choosing to go it no mentor. I actually look at the great people here as a sort of mentorship group. these folks on here are so generous with their time and knowledge. My only hope to repay them is to become one of the helpful ones as well.

I guess what I’m saying is, don’t let the fact that you don’t have someone there to hold your hand stop you from moving forward. Just be cautious, ask questions here, take action, and correct as you go. I’m sure you are going to make mistakes, but even the most senior member here can’t say that the never made a mistake. In fact I’m sure that there is one or two, if they’re honest, that can admit to still making them after years of success.

Again, this is just my opinion but, to me, success doesn’t come from not making mistakes but from persistence and learning from the mistakes that you will inevitably make.

Good Luck and Happy New Year! Welcome to the Board!

Thanks Rogelio, I needed to hear that. If I have any questions I will certainly use the forum

All the best to you,

You can post your request in the new Networking Forum,43.0.html

I’m not sure this applies to Tammy, but the term “mentor” has been the perpetual rage for probably four or five years now in marketing circles of about every stripe. I’ve received ‘mentor’ offers myself for as long. It’s an effective buzz word to throw around since it attracts the insecure, fearful and the pipe-dreamers. After all, mentors have experience and they’ll share that experience with us, no matter where we’re starting from, because they just want to give back. Really? No matter where? For nothing? Where are the unicorns hiding?

The fact of the matter is, finding someone to give us meaningful feedback isn’t hard. However, finding someone willing to babysit us is impossible. Nobody has time for that. But most will offer help if it’s not a chronic drain of their time. The difference is the sophistication of the questions I suppose. Somebody who won’t spend any money on training, and insists on having it all personally spoon-fed …represents a losing proposition for anyone who knows what they’re doing. It’s just feeding a black hole of ignorance and selfishness. It’s a one way tunnel to nowhere.

That all said, few things energize an experienced professional than to help someone who is already in the trenches and demonstrates both a willingness and a desire to plow ahead despite their fears and ignorance. Then it’s more like steering a moving car. On the other hand, if the car isn’t moving, we can furiously turn the wheel back and forth and pretend to go somewhere, but in the end, we can’t steer a parked car, and it doesn’t go anywhere. The latter is like working with someone who is just curious, but won’t actually do anything with what they are taught.

I’ve lost count of the number of people who successfully secured my help; got me to spend a gob of my time giving them very sophisticated feedback and direction, and just when they were right on the cusp of doing something successful…where it’s the most challenging… they gave up.

Why they gave up is irrelevant. The bottom line is that they were pipe-dreamers. These types only pursue a dream as long as it is fun, convenient and requires no discipline or consistency. At any point where it requires being a grown-up …they lose interest; get distracted; or otherwise find something new and shiny to gaze at.

I say all this to say, there’s no free lunch, and there’s no substitute for hard work in this business. There are more elegant and efficient ways to accomplish what we want, but who’s going to toss those pearls away for nothing in return? Just asking. :anon

Wouldn’t you know I just got this email from a famous real estate guru regarding, what else…? Mentoring… And this time, they’re sifting out the curious… Hmmm. They said…

We're only letting a select few in and more than 75% of the applications will more than likely be declined. We're looking to "partner" [my quotes] with winners only. The reason for this is fourfold ...

[b]* We can’t deal with psychos. Just doesn’t work for me.

  • We only have time for a certain number of people.
  • It takes a certain type of mentality to keep up with the rapid pace we will be taking you to profitability.
  • We have a 100% success rate. I want to keep it that way.[/b]

And you can imagine how much it costs to be involved one-on-one with these guys… It’s not cheap.

Could you do what they teach without the mentoring? I don’t know, but probably. However, there’s enough persons willing to pay a high price for hand-holding that they limit the number of participants to the “winners.” I’m pretty sure I know what that means, besides not being psychotic. It’s a positive, mature person with a goal and a deadline…and no alternatives than to succeed.

Anyway, after I read this, I thought you might find it interesting…


You might want to find out where the local reia is being held in your area. You will find plenty of guys there that may be able to help you.

Thanks for all the help. Much appreciated.


Thanks duke, I sent you an email.


Hi Tammy,
Not sure about personal mentoring but there is a group called Tristate Mixer and they host monthly meetings in NYC, Northern NJ, and Central NJ. They offer a wealth of information and all the people I’ve met thus far are really personable and willing to help. The website is
Hope this helps!!!

I am a member of TristateMixer but no one has the time to help/guide a newbie. Thank you for your suggestion though.


Tammy, I was just like you in 2009 and I did what one of the others advised.

I went out, found a seller, got the property under contract, found a buyer for my deal, and then I didn’t know what to do.

That’s when I reached out to some of the “We Buy Houses” signs and was lucky enough to find someone to help me get through the rest.

If you’re out there working hard and getting some things going, you’ll find people to help you.
Just be careful, one guy said he would show me how it works for my ENTIRE wholesale fee.

If you do need help or some direction, you can reach out to me, I’ve only done about 6 deals in the last 3 years, but that’s part time and running my business, so it can be done.

Good Luck and let me know if you have any questions, I’m in Northern NJ.


I don’t want to be rude but asking people to help you is not a good strategy to find good people to guide you.
A better way to approach these people is to ask them

" How can i add value to you"?
“How can i help you make more money”?
“what are some of the things that consume your time that i might be able to do for you”?

These are better questions that will get you results…

The I, I, I syndrome will not help you at all…

I agree 100%. Most people will not be willing to drop everything and help you out. However, if you as them and look for ways in which you can help them, they will be much more open to the proposal. And by helping them out, you learn priceless information in the process.

Most any successful investors will respond to requests for help, feedback and advice, if we’re already making an attempt.

Then they can help us “pull the chain,” as it were. Otherwise, the curious and the unicorn chasers are a waste of time, if not all happy to ask for, and get free advice, and then do absolutely nothing with it.

That gets old for someone in the trenches. That’s also probably why many investors won’t bother with newbies, who are all about questions, and not enough about doing.

As a practical matter, in the real world, it pays just to start doing ‘something.’ Is that dangerous? Probably, but not necessarily.

However, the way to get where we want to go, becomes clearer as we progress. This has happened to me several times over.

BTW, not everyone is ready to be a success. For the rest of us, when we have a strong enough reason for doing something, nothing is gonna stop us, including not having a mentor.


I’ve been in real estate 11 years and networked with thousands in just 5-7 years. I would say find the ones at the more advanced meetups and offer to buy them lunch and exchange value and have them help you. The best won’t feel you are competition, but make it worth their time.