Coping with Negative relative feedback...

Hello to anyone who’s taking the time to read my post. A while ago I purchased a real estate investor’s course. Currently, I’m reviewing the course and some day soon, implement what I’ve learned. A bit frustrated I am. A few months ago my wife and I had a baby and since then she’s been home. Our plan was for her NOT to return to work, but stay home with our baby - we are both VERY uncomfortable with the thought of placing “our baby” in daycare. We hoped to live off of my salary alone, but at this point it looks as though this isn’t going to work out and that she will have to return part-time and/or maybe I’ll have to pick up a part-time job somewhere. The dilemma I’m in. We’re preparing to better define both our short-term and long-term goals and with doing so, I shared with her my interest of REI - something she’s known I’ve had an interest in all along. Well, not that she’s not supportive to any goals, dreams, or ideas I may have, but the idea of REI doesn’t sit too well with her. As with so many other “conventional” thinkers out there, she believes that this type of business is too risky, requires lots of money, is basically a get-rich type of thing - she had seen me watch on many occasion the Carleton Sheets infomercial and doesn’t believe that this could be us. I shared with her some of my REI ideas as not approaching the business from a “rent and hold” point of view knowing that this can be very risky (at least initially) and I also shared with her methods as to how to acquire $$$$ through sources such as hard-money lenders. Ultimately, she likes (needs) stability. She had mentioned the idea of either one of us going back to college, getting a degree in something, and then getting a higher-paying, good “job”. I really don’t want to do this for a number of reasons. Our current economy/job market in Mass stinks. There are lots of college educated, experienced, but laid off, technology professionals flooding the pool. Not to mention the time it would take - 4 years at least PLUS working 40+ hrs/week with a newborn at home. I KNOW that REI is NOT a get-rich quick profession. And I KNOW that it takes lots of time and effort to become successful. But the trade-off, from what I’ve read, is quite incredible - more family time and hopefully a little more $$$$. I guess what I’m looking for is a little advice and support from some of you who’ve experienced this same thing. Again, my wife is supportive, and we love each other very much and I know there’s a compromise, i.e. both of us work part-time to make ends meet, while I give REI a try for a specified period of time.


“There are lots of college educated, experienced, but laid off, technology professionals flooding the pool.”

You got that right. Welcome to the club…(no pun).
The tech. degree earned me alot of money…along with multiple layoffs.
I should have used the money more wisely instead of spending it on rent, car payment, and travel. RE investing would have been a smarter choice.

Family and friends sometimes do not understand why I do not want to return to the tech field fulltime.

How is your credit, do you have the ability to incorporate and invest from that angle, thereby reducing the risk to your spouse?
Would your significant other be open to small investments properties (30-50k) fixers which carry less financial risk?

My brothers wife has been nudging him in the direction of buy and hold for years, but he absolutely would not budge from 9 to 5 thinking. He constantly tells me that “its too risky”.

The other day i took him along with me to see a fixer. We walked the property, chatted about how we could add value here and there.

On the way back to my truck I heard him say under his breath…“you know, i can do this…”


I can understand your feelings. I have always known that I would own my own business. but my wife has never wanted to do anything but work for some one else. In 1987, I bought my business and started working longer hours for less money. My wife could not understand it and somewhat resented the cut in pay. Now, I still work pretty long hours, but I work 4 days a week instead of 6. My salary has gone from a bit less than hers to more than double hers. But at this point in my life, I have started to look more to my retirement years. The only significant retirement that I had was my business. A few years ago, I started investing in Real Estate. My portfolio is slowly growing, but not at a rocket pace. My goal is to buy 1 rental property per year for the next 16 years and then sell half of them to finish paying for the rest. That way I will have 10 properties that will only have taxes, insurance and repairs to pay for and the rest will be income for me. I have considered buying a moderate size apartment complex as well. I guess the point to this post is that just because you don’t have the complete support of your spouse, don’t let yourself not do what you need to do to get ahead of the game.


Don’t go fishing with dynamite.

I treated my REI venture much like a mistress in my early days - not telling my reluctant wife too much about it and conducting most business outside her presence.

It didn’t take long before she became curious about my dealings. Now, she’s designing my web site and helping me with marketing materials and finding listings.

Joe Kelley

My wife, too, was hesitant at first. It is a second marriage for both of us and her former husband didn’t tell her anything about their finances, etc. He’s a lawyer and she “trusted” him (BIG mistake!). I am very open and honest with her about it and show her what I am doing and why. I have had property in the past but we just bought our first house together (a small HUD repo in good shape only needing cosmetics) and she is really ‘getting it’ to doing the fix ups!

My $0.02: Get her buy-in if you can. Make sure you can explain it to her (if you can’t, maybe you don’t fully understand the deal either!). Show her the numbers – all the costs and what you will reap ‘long term’


My wife went back to work as well after having the babies. Keep your head up and look for the right course for you to involve yourself in. Because now a few years later my wife has not had a JOB in four years and we do this full time as a team. And I can say we are not only doing it but doing it very well.

I completely understand where you are coming from. We have a baby on the way too and Jeni will be taking a year off. Drop me a line when you have a chance and I can give you a little more scoop on our personal life and what we are doing. My bestfriend is in Mass and I know you don’t have an easy market to get you feet wet in. I think you can get my email through my profile.

Successful Investing,
Mark Saenz

By the way…NEVER, NEVER, NEVER quit!

Your thoughts are correct you just need to part a few clouds!

Howdy Mass:

It is not at all like the info commercials. Like you said it does take hard work. When I first started in Houston in the mid 70’s I was trying to Broker large apartment properties. I was telling my bride about every possible deal. The $ 90,000 commission was only a few months away and we were going to be rich. After about a few dozen of these deals falling apart she was tired of hearing about my pipe dreams . Some how we bought a little fixer upper in Bellaire for 50 g’s. Hind site is 20/20 but if I had just kept that little house and bought a few more in the area I would be a millionaire today. They are worth over $250,000 just for the lot.

Investing can be fun too. Now my wife enjoys picking the carpet colors and paints etc. She is not as involved as I would like but she helps some.

There has to be harmony. Convincing her to be on your side is important but so is eating and retirement. You can work on both short term goals and long term goals in REI. I trying to buy small duplexes to keep as rentals that the payment will be covered by the rent from one side in low income areas. This will help with retirement. At the same time i am rehabbing two for resale and a 31 unit apt house that I may sell or refinance and keep.

Get her support It is critical to your success. My wife does not share my passion. Here I am at 5am talking to a stranger. I share your feelings and hope you can get started investing in some way and let it grow


Negative people are simply dealing with their own fear of being inadequate.

I stand strong and simply respond to negative people’s self limiting beliefs when the say “You can’t do that”, “It’s a scam”, “You have no money”, “You can’t do that it’s already been done”.

I say “says who? I am the one who determines my own value.” When they think, “you are going to make a fool of yourself”, I respond " At least I have the guts to try.

Stand up for who you are and what you believe you can do and soon others will believe in you too.

You have to ask yourself are you willing to do what it takes to set your mind for success? Will you do the work to be successful?

You need to break out of the bounds of limits of others and yourself and become who you want to be!

Successful people do not give attention to negative people! Successful people do things that others claim can not be done! Successful people think out of the BOX!

The Have’s

The Have-Not’s
Fear of the Unknown
Lack of Education
Poor Self Control
Fear of Success
World of Scarcity
Low Self-Esteem

Never share your goals with anyone unless you know they not only believe you can achieve these goals, but they also want you to reach them.

You can make an unlimited amount of money with REI, Positive cash flow every month, every week , every day! My goal is to retire and spend the rest of my life with family and my son , wich im sure you have the same goal. Not to go to work all day everyday. I wish you the best of luck! The sky is the limit!