4,000th Post and Life's Rules (Long!)

OK, I’m a bit over my goal amount but here are the promised Life Rules…you will probably recognize some of these – I have borrowed heavily from those that have made sense to me!


  1. Treat everyone as you would expect them to treat you if the roles were reversed
  2. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy
  3. An optimist sees the glass as half-full; the pessimist sees the glass as half-empty – I’m a realist – I see a glass twice as big as it needs to be!
  4. If you don’t pay your bills, they take your stuff
  5. If it smells bad, don’t eat it
    5.1 Liver smells bad
    5.2 If it’s already green don’t eat it
  6. Never make the same mistake twice…learn from your mistakes
  7. Life is hard but it’s harder if you’re stupid
  8. If you can’t stand the answer, don’t ask the question
  9. The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the @$$hole.
    9.1 If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low, and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge @$$hole
  10. Never start building a house on Friday.
  11. If I was as stupid as I look, nature would have weeded me out by now
  12. To be successful, work half a day – pick the first 12 hours or the second.
  13. The saddest thing that can happen to a person is that he live all Winter and die in the Spring.
  14. Paint hides a multitude of sins
  15. Life is not fair; get used to it – and get over it
  16. If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God’s sake don’t pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh.
  17. The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
  18. Never drive yourself into anything that you can’t back out of
  19. Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull.
  20. You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with a Treo/Motorola Q until you earn both.
  21. Take RESPONSIBILITY for YOUR actions
    21.1 If you screw up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
  22. Schools may have done away with winners and losers but life has not.
  23. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
  24. Practice doesn’t make perfect – perfect practice makes perfect
  25. As a kid, my father was the stupidest SOB on the planet – the older I got, the smarter he got
  26. It is what it is…what is done is done – adjust to it and move on
  27. Know what matters and what doesn’t – in the big scheme of things, the chances are that it doesn’t
  28. Do something good everyday
  29. Only dead fish swim always with the stream
  30. God gave you two ears and one mouth – they should be used in the same proportion
  31. LIfe doesn’t come with an instruction manual – if you’re a guy, you wouldn’t have read it anyway
  32. Only two things fall out of the sky – birdcrap and fools
  33. Where I’m from, “Alcohol, Tobacco, and firearms” is a convenience store, not a government agency
  34. Gather the facts, plan a course of attack, and execute
  35. You cannot help a person permanently by doing for them what they could and should be doing for themselves
  36. Trust everyone and no one…
  37. My word is my bond…if I tell you I’ll do something, I will
  38. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
  39. Trust your “gut”
  40. You learn the most when things go wrong.


Beautiful. “Life is hard but it’s harder if your stupid”. Wow. Nice work Keith.

Jared :beer

[size=10pt] :beer[/size]

Keep’em coming. Here’s to 4000 more posts!

“And when you come to a fork in the road…take it!”


Wow, you have a lot of Free time on your hands…

I am jealous :cool

Lets make this Fun, what is your Favorite by Number?

On these forums, my most used are #5, #8, and #14…my favorite is probably #9 (from Bill Cosby)…


I just wanted to let you know tha I have a list just like yours…because I just stole it. Great work.

Now where is that darn cut and past button again… I guess I’ll have to wait till the kids get home. :biggrin

9.1 If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low, and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge @$$hole


Dude #9 was funny as shhhhh… Im LMAO :beer

Knowledge is NOT power.

The application of knowledge creates power.


These are outstanding and are worthy of becoming refrigerator art!

For the next revised edition, I’m sure you could borrow more rules from this list: