Bill Brasky! He’s a big fella, goes about 6’4", 280. He loves his Scotch!
shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol’ Bill Brasky pushes the priest aside and says, “I’ll baptize that piece of calamari!” Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, “There! You’re baptized!”
”Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off lookin’ for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally, Brasky takes me into a vacant lot and says, “Here we are!” Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it and then burnt the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found them!’”
Keith
Brasky’s family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
“Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter’s wedding? You know my daughter, she’s a beautiful girl. Well, Brasky shows up and you know he’s a big fella. Well, he’s standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He’s got no right to be there, but he’s drunk and, well, he’s Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries me and Brasky! We spend the weekend in the Poconos - he loves me like I’ve never been loved before!”
He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen
“Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery? He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I’m chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol’ Brasky, he’s back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!”
We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it
“You know how Brasky served three tours in 'Nam? Well, I’m in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it’s Ho Tran Brasky!”
He once inhaled a seagull.
”Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky forced me to wear a woman’s bikini around the office? Brasky tears off my clothes and makes me wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing a woman’s bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily. But at the end of the quarter, I’ll be damned if my sales hadn’t tripled.”