Please critique my phonescript

Hi All,

I would a greatly appreciate your insight. This is a rough draft of the phone script that I will be using on my voicemail.

"Hi, this is Joel with Circle City Investors. If you’re calling about a house that you need us to buy, please leave your:

-Name

-Phone Number

-The address of your house with the zip code

-The reason you’re selling

-And the best time to reach you after the tone.

I will personally call you back and if your house meets our criteria, we will make you an offer within 72 hours.

Thanks for calling,

Have a good day. "

Thanks,
Joel

Joel,

I don’t know too many folks that approve of using voice mail to answer calls from potential sellers. I would spring for an answering service–and give them your script. People react better to a person than they do to a machine.

Let me know if I can help!
Tim